I love a good checklist. Ask my Mom; I’ve been making lists since I was 5 years old.  There’s a place for them, but…

I don’t believe quitting porn (or any stubborn habit) is that place. Lists often complicate the stopping process.

If you’ve been trying to quit porn for months or years, you know this cycle:

You start out looking for a solution. 
Try it.
Relapse.
Look for another solution.
The list of solutions grows while the unwanted habit continues.

Isn’t it all about action anyway?

(It’s not.)

Before you know it — you’re exhausted with all the things you’ve got to do just to stop yourself from relapsing:

Meditate first thing in the morning 
(Don’t you dare skip it)
Exercise every day 
(No excuses)
Follow the carnivore diet to a T 
(No room for slip-ups)
Start your own business so you have a purpose 
(Who actually needs employees anyway)
Pray every evening before bed 
(God alone will save you)

If you’re doing all the things to break a porn-addiction and mostly just burnt-out — you’re working way too hard.

But there must be something to the list — right?

It didn’t just come out of nowhere — right?

You’re right. The fix-it list didn’t come from nowhere. But it’s not necessarily your where. Yours could be far less.

Yours could be far less.

When someone explains ‘how’ to quit porn, they aren’t really explaining how. They are telling you ‘what’ they did. Or, they list items they perceived moved the needle for different folks.

This is where checklists like “Here’s how to fix it” come from. They are outcomes often mistaken for the path. 

But this post is also, by declaration, a ‘how to quit porn’ list.

As promised, here are some examples of ‘what’ I’ve seen my clients do quitting a compulsive habit like porn or eating junk:

• Stopped sacrificing themself for everyone else
• Took more leadership in their career
• Contributed more in their marriage
• Contributed less in their marriage
• Worked through deeper relationship patterns
• Realized why they would self-sabotage
• Went to the gym instead
• Found a better way to deal with their emotions
• Quit picking at their appearance and so-called flaws

Please do not confuse this as a list you must follow.

How you quit porn – or any other compulsive habit – is intimate.

Intimacy is more…
A shared experience than an instruction.
Nuanced with a unique combination of leverage points that make it work.
Like each person has their own custom passcode. 

Most people are more comfortable exposing their bodies than their code. Again, why lists fall short. But you crave the juicy details when it feels like you’re standing on the outside, looking in. There is something others have gotten, that you haven’t gotten yet. 

The solution that works best is far more simple. We get you on the inside looking out… and then you get it. 

Real intimacy. Deep intimacy. 

(Might scare you a little if you haven’t had it before.)

But it’s so simple it practically sounds stupid or simply inexplainable. Like a list you don’t have to follow. Instead, it starts feeling fun.

Talk Soon,

Krystal

PS Click here if you want to work with me.

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